1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
