Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
