didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
