He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
