I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
worst night to have a conscience
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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