I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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