hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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