We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize