we have officially lost it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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