pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
