I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
