I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize