A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize