Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
