His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
