My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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