Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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