Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
