omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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