He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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