guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
