I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
