i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
