The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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