Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
