how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
