I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just threw up on my dentist
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
