some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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