I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize