careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
