and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
