Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
