Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its not stalking. its research.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
