Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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