Pappa wants mamma naked
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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