i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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