Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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