We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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