The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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