dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
