Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
