My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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