tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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