Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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