just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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