I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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