Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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