I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
