I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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