I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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