actually, I'm a sock model
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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