i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
