If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
