I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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