Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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