Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
