the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
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Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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