Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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