she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
