it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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