Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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