I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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