do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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