it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
