Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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